Long time no talk y’all.
Been a busy body these past couple weeks. But who am I kidding I honestly just didn’t know what I wanted to write about it. Like do I write about my experiences I’ve had the past couple weeks? Where I made a complete drunken fool of myself last weekend? How I met Luke Combs? My complicated boy life? Which would be hilarious while were being honest lol
As I kept pondering, I would hop on instagram, scroll, creep, compare all my photos to these really cool people online who really know how to use a camera. And kinda like that, I knew what I wanted to write about like that. Instagram and it’s evilness.
I think I hop on instagram 10 times a day. Okay sorry honesty here. More like 20 or 30 unfortunately. Because I don’t wanna miss anything from the hour before hand obviously. It gives me something to do when I’m awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact with someone in line. Or if I wanna see if the guy I’m crushing on saw my story or not. Or to see where IndyBlue is.
But it will be late at night, I’m curled up in my bed. Just got out the shower and no make up. So not looking my tip-top best at all. Double chin. Before I catch some shut eye I’m scrolling, ya know. I hop onto the explore page. Shit. Shit. Abort! Abort!! Why do I do this. Literally the girls that pop up are breathtaking. They are in Bali and they are in their cute ass swimsuits and owning it. It really takes a toll on your self confidence. But not just with body and self image. I’m talking about the pictures. Now stick with me on this. Yes the girls are looking flawless. But the photo it’s self fits their feed so well. All these epic photos I see. Another great one after the next. Everybody is starting to travel and explore the world. Seeing what’s out there. Great lightening fitting the great landscape behind. Blahhh Blaaah Blahhh
But where my self confidence gets hurt is I feel like I should be out there like them. Taking these awesome photos. Capturing every moment. JUST SO I CAN POST THEM ON INSTAGRAM TO GET ALOT OF LIKES. And that’s what I’m getting at. Literally we are our own PR agent. I try and I try to take the best photo I can of a gorgeous sunset or shark diving or surfing or parasailing. I have to capture this moment. Because if I don’t have physical proof, how can I say I did it?! I wanna go to these places, not just because its something new to explore and make me a more well rounded person.. but because it would be a cool picture to take and post online. I remember one time on the Road to Hana, my friend was taking me swimming through these waterfalls and there was no place to hold on to my phone. I had to leave it in the car. I was upset at these because how am I going to document this and show everyone?? And honestly I think it was one of my most memorable moments I had living in Maui.
Me and Jacqueline were literally posing candid like and I kept running back and forth for the self timer.
And this baffles me because it’s true to ALL OF US in this day and age. Even my mom will yell at me because im not taking a photo, and enjoying the moment. I know we like to say we all want to live in the moment. But I’m pretty sure if you’re about to go do something fun like four wheeling or a day at the beach.. I’m seeing it somewhere on your social media. and that's not what I'm trying to say..
I think I had Sarah take 30 photos of me just staring at the tallest waterfall ive seen bc one just wasnt good enough
What I’m trying to say is just because someone is out exploring the world, their feed is AWESOME, they have sponsors and get paid to be hot does not in any way form mean you’re life is any less interesting. Don’t compare your life to that. I know I’m not the only one. I go through peoples photos and think to myself “I want a photo like that” oh I wanna go there for that photo opp. Like no, I should not think like that. I should not spend the hours I do trying to get the right filter on my photos. I should not compare my photos to their photos. I get discouraged when others photos look incredible and compare my mediocre talent to them.
I enjoy instagram for the only reason it helps me stay in touch with friends over the world and see what everyone is up to. But then that circles back to my point. WE POST EVERYTHING! If someone doesn't have an instagram or snapchat, we think they are catfish or hiding from the government. We do our everyday things with the influence of social media. Im not saying its abad thing. Im saying just dont compare yourself to anyone other then yourself. Every other day I go back and forth between deleting my snapchat and instagram. Again, being honest I can't bring myself to do it. How am I suppose to confuse people where I live now??
This though was not planned, im just an idiot
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